Divorce is Hell. Losing a common law marriage is Hell. Losing the love of your whole adult life is Hell.
I was in denial for YEARS!!! It was over MANY MANY years ago, but I just couldn’t sign the papers or sell the house. Maybe the Catholic upbringing? Maybe it was losing that connection to when I was 23 and when that young man just KNEW that it was going to be forever? She was my forever, but she left a LONG time ago.
I was in denial. Understand, denial isn’t lying; it’s when your brain is so offended by something that it rejects this horrible true fact. My denial was twelve years old and halfway through the 7th grade. Technically, I was married even though for all intents and purposes- I wasn’t. It wasn’t until she said, ENOUGH- it’s time for government to get involved in all this and really end it, when I finally agreed.
It’s funny that was how my marriage ended because that was also how it began. Years ago, we’d been living together as husband and wife and she said – why don’t we get married? My libertarian instinct replied: why do we need government up in all this? Her: true, but we’d save on taxes and why not? A few months later, we were married. As for finishing the divorce, I would’ve stayed in marital purgatory forever, if she hadn’t stepped in and said – Enough!
Marriage doesn’t need governmental intervention; for example, in my beloved Texas, there is common law marriage- have joint bank accounts, live together, say you’re married, and presto change-o – you’re married! Sadly, nowhere in America is there common law divorce. I get that there are property issues for some, but for us there weren’t property issues and common law divorce would’ve been a mercy to break the veneer, expose my broken heart, and allow the healing to start. Common law divorce could’ve stepped in where I could not even bear to look. Divorce was beyond looking into the abyss; it was losing decades of jokes, tears, loss, Christmas ornaments, hospital visits, hopes, homeownership, and most importantly – children raised with us together.
Many of whom who know me well, know that I have real problems with things ending: I’m just now watching the last two seasons of “The Office”; so, imagine me admitting to a divorce! I never talked about my separation or divorce, but I can tell you that the hurt is GRIEF, not sadness- GRIEF. Grief grabs your soul by the balls! Grief is the Babadook! Grief is the irresistible pain that you are addicted to because you can’t possibly move on! Grief is borne from death and divorce is death and grief gives your heart that mirage of hope and that fix so that you can keep hurting until you either let go or be consumed. I was nearly consumed.
Divorce is unfair not just because of grief, it is unfair because while the court can award property, it cannot award years back so that you can face the pain with more strength and youth. No, you have to face divorce with the wisdom and cynicism as an adult. No one knows the world’s cold pain like an adult. I knew “adulting” when I was young because of my father. I used to call the scars that he left on my face – my memories of my father. I just took ownership- you think you broke me you SOB? You’re not good enough to even bruise my soul. Divorce hit worse than anything my father did. Divorce got my soul where he could not.
Maybe I am still young because for this reason: I have stupid hope. There is nothing more stupid than hope because hope is the biggest gamble of all. Hope makes buying a Powerball ticket look like buying a mutual fund. Hope is the gamble that you’ll get it right, that it will get better, and this time it’ll be ok. Hope is what I have though, so I’m going with it. I will get right this time and I will find my forever lady. I hope.
Today would have been the 90th birthday of Joe Don Baker!
Our scene that I love features Joe Don as Sherriff Buford Pusser. Some local crooks thought that they could keep the sheriff out of their bar. In this scene from 1973’s Walking Tall, he proves them all wrong.
4 (or more) Shots From 4 (or more) Films is just what it says it is, 4 (or more) shots from 4 (or more) of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 (or more) Shots From 4 (or more) Films lets the visuals do the talking.
Today, the Shattered Lens wishes a happy 57th birthday to one of our favorite filmmakers, Darren Aronofsky! When we first started this site, we were eagerly awaiting the release of Black Swan. Now, fifteen years later, we’re eagerly awaiting the release of Aronofsky’s next film, whatever it may be.
In honor of the birthday of a true visionary director, here are….
4 Shots From 4 Darren Aronofsky Films
Pi (1998, dir by Darren Aronofsky, DP: Matthew Labitique)
Requiem for a Dream (2000, dir by Darren Aronofsky, DP: Matthew Libatique)
Black Swan (2010, dir by Darren Aronosfky, DP: Matthew Libatique)
mother! (2017, dir by Darren Aronofsky, DP: Matthew Libatique)
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.
This week, OJ Simpson argues with his wife.
Episode 3.3 “A Loaded Gun”
(Dir by Stan Lathan, originally aired on August 19th, 1987)
With Yinessa continuing to hold out for more money, Teddy thinks that he’s come up with a solution. He tells Yinessa that he will personally take out an insurance policy on him so that Yinessa can work out with the team, despite not having a contract. Yinessa agrees. TD Parker tells all of the defenders not to touch Yinessa because they cannot risk him getting hurt.
“Anyone who touches Yinessa is going to wind up in Buffalo!” Parker tells them.
Unfortunately, John Manzak has been taken too many steroids. As a result, the first thing he does is sack Yinessa. Yinessa is injured. As he’s rushed to the hospital, Diane tells Teddy, “Thank God you got that insurance policy.” Teddy looks worried — uh oh, it looks like someone didn’t get that insurance policy!
At the hospital, a doctor tells Diane that Yinessa has a detached retina and he’ll probably never play football again.
Meanwhile, TD is having trouble in his marriage. He forgets his wife’s birthday but TD’s secretary (Leah Ayres) sends flowers and buys a gift. Unfortunately, TD’s wife sees through the entire ruse. She and TD argue. And because TD Parker is played by OJ Simpson, it’s hard not to worry whenever anyone argues with him.
Hey, that’s a good point, OJ! Let’s move on!
Also, in this episode, Bubba goes to therapy because he hasn’t been able to make love to his wife since she gave birth. Jethro goes with him and pretends to have a shoe fetish. This led to another patient hiding his shoes. 1st and Ten is a comedy that rarely makes me laugh but I have to admit that I did chuckle when Jethro started talking about how much he loved shoes.
Other than the therapy scene, this was a pretty serious episode. Yinessa might never play again. John Manzak is going crazy due to the steroid abuse. (Is he going to be sent to Buffalo? I don’t know how he’s going to handle that!) The kicker is still looking for a wife so he won’t get deported. And Diane has no idea what’s going on with her team.
How will the Bulls ever make it to the championship game!?
It was such a shock to hear that James Van Der Beek passed away earlier today. He was only 48 years old.
For me, James Van Der Beek will always be Dawson, even though he had a long career. If he’s not Dawson, he’ll be Mox, the quarterback who wanted to read Vonnegut in peace and who most of all did not “want your life.” When Dawson’s Creek was at its peak, I was just at the right age to develop a crush on a sensitive young man who just wanted to make movies and read books. I know a lot of people turned against Dawson as Dawson’s Creek went on. Joey ended up with Pacey and Lisa and I used to argue for hours about whether or not she made the right choice. I liked Pacey but I loved Dawson, even when everyone else was turning against him.
James Van Der Beek went on to do some movies. He played a version of himself in Don’t Trust The B—- In Apartment 23 and he was the funniest and best thing about that show. The most important thing that James did was that he became a father to six children and my heart goes out to all of them. Dawson wanted to go to Hollywood but James Van Der Beek left Hollywood to devote himself to being a dad.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!
This week, it’s a very special cruise of The Love Boat!
Episodes 7.7 and 7.8 “When Worlds Collide/The Captain and the Geisha/The Lotter Winners/The Emperor’s Fortune”
(Dir by Jerome Courtland, originally aired on November 5th, 1983)
The Love Boat is sailing to Japan!
Lila (Heather Thomas) is a photographer whose father is in a wheelchair due to the injuries that he received during World War II. She meets and falls for Bud O’Hara (Tony Danza). It seems like love at first sight but how will she react when they arrive in Japan and she discovers that Bud’s father (James Shigeta) is Japanese!? At first, Lila cannot get over her prejudice but then Bud’s father reveals that his own parents were killed at Hiroshima and that he has also struggled with forgiveness. “I am proud to be Japanese,” Tony Danza declares.
Martha Chambers (Mariette Hartley) is a professor in Asian studies who has a crush on the Captain. When she finds out that the Captain is fascinated by the culture of Japan, Martha pretends to be a geisha.
Barney (Ted Knight) and his wife (Rita Moreno) have just won five million dollars in the lottery and they spend almost the entire cruise showing off how much money they have. The crew isn’t comfortable dealing with the nouveau riche. Myself, I’m just happy that this storyline didn’t feature Ted Knight or Rita Moreno pretending to be Japanese.
Celia (Jean Hoffman) and her daughter, Joanie (Nancy Morgan), own one piece of an embroidered silk artwork. Ben Cummins (John Ritter) owns another piece. They’ve all been invited to Japan by a businessman named Yamamoto. Yamamoto claims to have the third piece and says that, when all the pieces are together, they will form a treasure map. Ben falls for Joanie. Celia falls for Harvey (Harvey Korman), a businessman who happens to be on the cruise. When the other two silk pieces are stolen, it doesn’t take long for Ben to figure out that Harvey is the one who took them. Harvey explains that he is Yamamoto and that he’s a career criminal. However, because he’s fallen in love with Celia, he returns all three of the silk pieces to her.
This two-hour episode was a travelogue. The Love Boat did one or two of these type of episodes every season. The show would leave the sound stages of Los Angeles and instead be filmed on an actual boat during an actual cruise. With these two hour episodes, the storylines were usually just an excuse for the Love Boat crew and their guest stars to see the sights. That’s certainly the case here. Captain Stubing gets a full tour of Japan. (Captain Stubing also has a lengthy fantasy sequence where he imagines himself as a shogun. It’s definitely not the show’s finest moment.)
It’s a good thing that the scenery is lovely in this episode because the stories themselves are nothing special and, in some cases, they’re actually difficult to watch. The Love Boat attempted to make a plea for tolerance and forgiveness and that’s definitely a good thing. But then the show cast Tony Danza as a half-Japanese man named Bud O’Hara and that was more than a bit cringey. There’s nothing about Tony Danza that is the least bit Japanese. For that matter, there’s nothing particularly Irish about him either.
“Well, I hate to break it to you, darlin’, but the way you was raised wasn’t real.” — The Ghoul to Lucy
Fallout season 2 already felt like the show leveling up into a bigger, stranger, and more emotionally loaded story; stretching that out to look at specific standout hours just underlines how confidently it plays with tone, lore, and character this year. The season still has its pacing and bloat issues, but episodes like 4, 6, and the finale remind you why this world is worth spending time in: they mix monster‑movie mayhem with sharp character turns and some surprisingly pointed world‑building.
From the outset, season 2 signals that it’s done playing small. Where season 1 often kept things contained to a handful of locations and a relatively tight triangle of conflicts, this run treats the wasteland like a map that’s finally fully unlocked. New Vegas, the Mojave, multiple Vaults, NCR outposts, Enclave facilities, and Legion‑touched territories all start jostling for attention. That expansion comes with an “everything louder” philosophy: more factions, more lore, more experiments gone wrong, and more moral gray areas. The show leans into the idea that the real horror of this world isn’t just the radiation or the monsters; it’s the legacy of people who convinced themselves they were saving humanity while quietly deciding which parts of humanity didn’t deserve to make it.
The overarching cold fusion storyline is the clearest expression of that. Season 1 treated it as a sort of mysterious MacGuffin hovering in the background, but season 2 drags it fully into the spotlight and ties it directly to the choices that triggered the Great War. By steadily revealing how Vault‑Tec, the Enclave, and figures like Hank and House circled the same piece of technology, the show paints a picture of an apocalypse that was less an accident and more an inevitable collision of greed, fear, and hubris. The tragedy is that many of these people genuinely believed they were securing a better future — they just defined “future” in terms that erased anyone outside their bubble. That added nuance gives the season a heavier emotional punch, because the fallout (pun intended) is no longer just a backdrop; it’s the direct consequence of personal betrayals we’ve watched unfold in flashback.
Cooper Howard, now fully embraced as the Ghoul, remains the emotional spine of that history lesson. Season 2 deepens his arc by closing the gap between the smiling pre‑war cowboy and the bitter, sand‑blasted killer stalking the Strip. His encounters with Robert House, especially in the finale, turn into confrontations not just with a technocrat who survived the bombs, but with the version of himself that let things get this far. The realization that he didn’t just lose his family to the apocalypse, but that his own patriotic image and complicity helped build the machine that destroyed them, hits like a slow‑motion punch. Walton Goggins plays those beats with a mix of brittle humor and raw self‑loathing that keeps the character from slipping into pure nihilism; you can see the man he was flicker through the monster he’s become, which makes every choice he makes in the present feel loaded.
Lucy, in contrast, is the series’ ongoing experiment in whether idealism can survive honest contact with the truth. Season 2 pushes her far beyond the naive Vault dweller who stepped into the sun in season 1. Over these episodes, she’s forced to confront not just her father’s lies, but the systemic rot embedded in every power structure she encounters. Vault‑Tec’s “protection,” Brotherhood righteousness, NCR order, Enclave science — every banner comes with its own flavor of atrocity. The brilliance of her arc is that the show doesn’t simply break her and call it growth. Instead, it lets her anger simmer quietly until it finally erupts during the operating‑room showdown with Hank in the finale, where she makes a calm, devastating choice that redefines their relationship forever. That moment isn’t just shock value; it’s the natural endpoint of a season spent watching her tally up cost after cost.
Maximus, meanwhile, evolves from wobbling wannabe knight into one of the show’s most grounded points of view, and episodes 4 and 6 mark very different turning points around him. Episode 4 is where the Brotherhood’s internal fractures stop being subtext and explode into open conflict. It’s the beginning of the Brotherhood civil war, and the first time Maximus is forced to confront the idea that his “family” might be rotten at the core. Watching knights and scribes turn on each other, watching command structures splinter, he starts to see that the Brotherhood’s rhetoric about honor and protection doesn’t hold when power and ideology clash. The moment he realizes the people he idolized are willing to kill their own to maintain control is the moment the halo really slips; he begins to understand that the Brotherhood may not be the good guys after all. It’s not a neat, one‑scene epiphany, but that episode is where denial stops being an option and he starts making choices that reflect his own moral compass rather than the codex.
Episode 6, by contrast, steps away from Maximus’ internal war and digs deeper into the past that shaped the wasteland he’s fighting in. This is much more a Barbara‑and‑Ghoul hour, fleshing out their backstory and giving emotional context to the cold fusion plot and the eventual apocalypse. The episode spends time with Cooper and Barbara before the bombs, letting us see their relationship in more detail: the compromises, the arguments, and the quiet ways Barbara pushes back against Vault‑Tec’s glossy promises. It also charts Cooper’s slide from working actor and family man into patriotic mascot and unknowing cog, showing how easy it was for him to rationalize each step as “doing the right thing.” By anchoring those flashbacks in Barbara’s perspective as much as Cooper’s, the episode makes her more than just a tragic absence — she becomes the person who saw the danger, tried to steer them away from it, and got overruled.
Those mid‑season episodes also shine when it comes to pure lore and creature work. Episode 4’s introduction of the Deathclaws as a real force in the story is one of the season’s best sequences. Rather than just dropping them in for a cameo, the show frames them as the culmination of whispered rumors, suspicious carnage, and mounting dread. When a Deathclaw finally tears into the frame, the direction emphasizes scale and unpredictability: these aren’t just big lizards, they’re apex predators that shrug off conventional tactics. The way they rip through defenses and send even seasoned fighters scrambling instantly re‑calibrates the power dynamics of the wasteland. Later, when they become central to the Strip’s Earth‑shaking siege, you already understand that their presence means no one is safe, no matter how shiny their armor or how fortified their stronghold.
On the lore side, episodes like 4 and 6 weave the Deathclaws and other horrors into a broader tapestry of FEV experimentation and Enclave meddling, making them feel like part of the same long chain of sins that gave us super mutants and other abominations. That connection reinforces the season’s larger point: the worst monsters in Fallout aren’t random mutations, they’re the descendants of carefully planned projects whose creators never fully accepted the consequences. It’s a neat bit of storytelling economy, turning what could have been a simple monster‑of‑the‑week into another thread in the show’s ongoing conversation about responsibility.
Season 2 also benefits from spending more quality time with its side characters instead of just treating them as quest givers or comic relief. Barbara is the most poignant of these. Where she once existed mostly as a memory in Cooper’s flashbacks, she now feels like a fully realized person with her own fears, instincts, and lines she isn’t willing to cross. We see her wrestle with Vault‑Tec’s promises and start to question the cost of all that gleaming corporate optimism. Those glimpses of her pushing back, or trying to pull Cooper back from the brink of total complicity, retroactively deepen every ounce of his guilt. He didn’t just lose a wife and child; he ignored the one person who saw the moral cliff edge coming and still jumped.
Thaddeus, while still often played for uneasy laughs, gets just enough shading to keep him from tipping into cartoon territory. Season 2 makes it clear that his brand of cowardly self‑preservation is less a personality quirk and more a survival strategy in a world that punishes idealism. When he’s swept up in vault‑side chaos and the grotesque side effects of FEV and forced evolution, his panic and bad decisions feel depressingly understandable. He’s the guy with no faction backing, no armor, no immortal body — the perfect lens for showing how regular people get crushed when the big players start moving pieces around. The fate he stumbles into is darkly ironic, but there’s a sting to it because the show has taken the time to make him more than just the butt of the joke.
Stephanie emerges as the wild card of the season, but not for the usual “chaotic Vault teen” reasons. What really drives her is that she’s a product of a very specific trauma: she’s Canadian in a universe where Canada was annexed, occupied, and turned into a horrifying internment state. That history isn’t just backstory flavor — it’s the furnace that forged her worldview. She grew up knowing that her country wasn’t just defeated; it was erased, abused, and folded into an American narrative that pretends it all happened for the greater good. So when she pushes against authority or digs into restricted information, it’s not just adolescent rebellion or a desire to impress anyone in the Vault hierarchy. It’s the instinct of someone who has seen, or inherited, the consequences of letting American power go unquestioned.
That’s why Stephanie’s personal agenda feels so out of step with the usual factional chess game. NCR, Brotherhood, Enclave, House — none of them really matter to her in ideological terms. To her, they’re all just different masks on the same face: American power structures rearranging themselves after the bombs, pretending the past is settled and the ledger is closed. Her curiosity about hidden tech, sealed records, and buried atrocities is less about “how can I leverage this for my people right now?” and more about “how can I expose what America did, and is still doing, to people like me?” Her animosity is directed at the idea of America itself — its myths, its revisionism, its insistence on calling conquest “security” and occupation “peacekeeping.” That’s why she doesn’t fit neatly into anyone’s strategy; she’s playing a longer, more personal game, one where the win condition isn’t territory or tech, but forcing the truth about what happened to Canada and to her people into the light.
What makes Stephanie compelling is that the show lets that animus sit in a morally messy place. She’s not some pure avenger with a perfect plan. Her choices are often reckless, sometimes cruel, and frequently blind to the collateral damage she’s creating in the here and now. But they make sense when you remember her context: she comes from a lineage that was caged, brutalized, and then largely written out of the post‑war power conversation. Of course she doesn’t care about which American faction ends up on top; from her perspective, the game is rigged no matter who’s holding the pieces. That’s why she feels less like a quirky side character and more like a slow, ideological time bomb buried in the story. Everyone else is fighting over the wasteland’s future, but Stephanie is here to settle a very old score with the idea of America itself — and that makes her one of the most unpredictable, and potentially explosive, figures in Fallout’s second season.
All of this character and lore work feeds into the finale, “The Strip,” which plays like the entire season compressed into one frantic, blood‑spattered hour. The Deathclaw assault, NCR push, Legion maneuvering, Enclave gambits, and House’s machinations collide on a single battlefield, turning the Strip into both a literal and symbolic crossroads for the wasteland’s future. Maximus’ rejection of blind Brotherhood obedience, Lucy’s definitive break with Hank, and Cooper’s reckoning with House and his own past all converge in a series of confrontations that feel earned precisely because the season has spent so much time setting the pieces on the board. It’s explosive and overwhelming, and it leaves plenty of threads dangling, but it also makes one thing crystal clear: there’s no going back to the relatively simple story this show started as.
Taken as a whole, Fallout season 2 is still a fair trade‑off, even with its occasional narrative overload. You give up some of the clean, streamlined storytelling of season 1 and accept that a few side plots and characters will drift in and out of focus, but in return you get a richer, more dangerous wasteland where Deathclaws stalk neon streets, the Brotherhood’s halo has visibly slipped, and characters like Barbara, Thaddeus, and especially Stephanie complicate the moral landscape in satisfying ways. It’s a season that believes in escalation — of spectacle, of lore, of emotional stakes — and while that sometimes leads to messiness, it also makes the highs genuinely memorable. If the show can channel that energy into a slightly tighter, more focused third season, this run will stand as the wild, necessary expansion pack that blew the world wide open and dared its characters to survive the consequences.
There’s something timeless about Player’s “Baby Come Back.” The moment that smooth, shimmering guitar riff kicks in, you’re instantly transported to an era of feathered hair, smoky bars, and love songs that meant exactly what they said. Released in 1977, it’s the sound of a guy trying to keep it together after heartbreak — and not quite succeeding. Honestly, any song that uses the phrase “mask of false bravado” earns its “timeless” badge automatically. That’s pure emotional poetry hiding inside a silky yacht‑rock groove.
What makes it work is how effortlessly cool it sounds while being totally sincere. The production is sun‑drenched, the harmonies glide, and the rhythm section keeps everything smooth without ever getting sleepy. You can hear the singer trying to play it off, pretending he’s fine — but those gentle falsettos betray him at every turn. It’s heartbreak with charm, regret you can actually dance to. The song doesn’t wallow; it sways.
Nearly five decades later, “Baby Come Back” still hits that sweet spot between sad and suave. It’s for those quiet, reflective nights when you’re too proud to text first — but not too proud to sing along. There’s a warm nostalgia baked into every note, and that lyrical honesty feels a little rarer each passing year. Turns out, love and vulnerability age beautifully when wrapped in a melody this smooth.
Baby Come Back
Spending all my nights, all my money going out on the town Doing anything just to get you off of my mind But when the morning comes, I’m right back where I started again And tryin’ to forget you is just a waste of time
Baby come back, any kind of fool could see There was something in everything about you Baby come back, you can blame it all on me I was wrong and I just can’t live without you
All day long, I’m wearing a mask of false bravado Trying to keep up a smile that hides a tear But as the sun goes down, I get that empty feeling again How I wish to God that you were here
Baby come back, oh baby, any kind of fool could see There was something in everything about you Baby come back, you can blame it all on me I was wrong and I just can’t live without you, oh
Now that I put it all together, oh, oh Give me the chance to make you see Have you used up all the love in your heart? Nothing left for me? Ain’t there nothing left for me?
Baby come back, oh darling, any kind of fool could see There was something in everything about you Baby come back, listen baby, you can blame it all on me I was wrong and I just can’t live without you I was wrong and I just can’t live